Hollywood Squares

Nitro Owners Forum

Help Support Nitro Owners Forum:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.

Scott Hammer TOXIC

Well-Known Member
Joined
Jul 16, 2002
Messages
12,301
Reaction score
28
Location
Warrenton, VA
If you remember the original "Hollywood Squares" and its comics, this may bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when "Hollywood Squares" game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull, as they are now.



Peter Marshall was the host asking the

questions, of course.



Q. Do female frogs croak?



A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads

under water long enough.



Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at

least how high should you be?



A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady

drinking should do it.



Q. True or False: A pea can last as long as

5,000 years.



A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way

sometimes.



Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep.

Are you probably a man or a woman?



A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me

awake.



Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a

stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to

come out and ask him if he is married?



A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning .



Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish

as you get older?



A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.



Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three

words to say "I Love You"?



A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a

pineapple and a twenty.



Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I

Can't Get Enough"?



A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming

from the next apartment.



Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture

more or less with your hands while talking?



A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old

question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.



Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?



A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too

easily.



Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow

strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?



A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy

growing strawberries.



Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?



A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.



Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two

subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?



A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.



Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the

bedroom or in the closet?



A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always

safe in the bedroom.



Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls?



A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.



Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag

his tail. What will a goose do?



A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?



Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what

would you give birth to?



A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never

be afraid of the dark.



Q. According to Ann Landers, is their anything

wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?



A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.



Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of

your body, what is it?



A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it

certainly isn't neglected.



Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa

put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?



A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.



Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of

time, your wife or your elephant?



A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?



Q. When a couple have a baby, who is

responsible for its sex?



A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the

rest is up to him.



Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he

firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two

occasions. What are they?



A. Charley Weaver: His feet.



Q. Acco
 
Those days of Hollywood Squares were simply priceless. I'd love to see the outakes of the ones they 'couldn't show'! Now those would be great.



I can still see/hear Paul Lynde with that snyde little laugh/chuckle of his.



Tex
 
Toxic - those were GREAT!! I'm old enough that I still remember the classics with Paul Lynde. They still crack me up!
 
Back
Top