joke for you to enjoy

[JEFF WHITE]

A Fence Bid

Three contractors were visiting a tourist attraction on the same day. One was from New York, another from Texas, and the third from Florida. At the end of the tour, the guard asked them what they did for a living. When they all replied that they were contractors the guard said, "Hey, we need one of the rear fences redone. Why don't you guys take a look at it and give me a bid?" So to the back fence they all went.



First to step up was the Florida contractor. He took out his tape measure and pencil, did some measuring and said, "Well I figure the job will run about $900. $400 for materials, $400 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."



Next was the Texas contractor. He also took out his tape measure and pencil, did some quick figuring and said, "Looks like I can do this job for $700. $300 for materials, $300 for my crew, and $100 profit for me."



Without so much as moving, the New York contractor said, "$2,700."



The guard, incredulous, looked at him and said, "You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?"



"Easy," he said. "$1,000 for me, $1,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Texas."

 

[Tom Mann]

HA!

 

[Rob LaMoy]

I am in public bidding and am appauled at that! LOL I have never hear of such a thing! Ever seen a subway car with a $2,000.00 piece of plastic that can fit in the palm of your hand, brought to you by the good people at GE. Yeah, they bring good things to light allright! LOL The things I could tell you all! LOL

 

[Adam Murray]

Exactly what I was thinking, Rob!



There was a time in my life (not too long ago), as an independant subcontractor I pulled jobs like that all the time. Easy way to put quick money straight to the bottom line, however, not the best biz model if you want to maintain a good reputation in your industry...too difficult to ensure quality and accountability.

 

[Bruce Freeman]

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>

>Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor

>manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following

>warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:

>

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>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering

>what the hell happened to your bra and panties.

>

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>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

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>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

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>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

>

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> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

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>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers

>are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

>

>--------------------------------------------------------------------------

>

>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

>

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>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back.

>

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>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

>

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> WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

>

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>WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

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>WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode.

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