A Comedian's Perspective -- Hurricane Preparedness

[William Birkett]

First we would like to say, Sorry for your loss. With

that said, Lets go through a few hurricane rules:



(Unlike an earthquake, we know it's coming)

#1. A mandatory evacuation means just that...Get the

hell out. Don't blame the Government after they tell

you to go. If they hadn't said anything, I can see the

argument. They said get out... if you didn't, it's

your fault, not theirs. (We don't want to hear it,

even if you don't have a car, you can get out.)



#2. If there is an emergency, stock up on water and

non-perishables. If you didn't do this, it's not the

Government's fault you're starving.



#2a. If you run out of food and water, find a store

that has some. (Remember, shoes, TV's, DVD's and CD's

are not edible. Leave them alone.)



#2b. If the local store has been looted of food or

water, leave your neighbor's TV and stereo alone.

(See # 2a) They worked hard to get their stuff. Just

because they were smart enough to leave during a

mandatory evacuation, doesn't give you the right to

take their stuff...it's theirs, not yours.



#3. If someone comes in to help you, don't shoot at

them and then complain no one is helping you. I'm not

getting shot to help save some dumba** who didn't

leave when told to do so.





#4. If you are in your house that is completely under

water, your belongings are probably too far gone for

anyone to want them. If someone does want them, let

them have them and hopefully they'll die in the filth.

Just leave! (It's New Orleans, find a voodoo warrior

and put a curse on them)



#5. My tax money should not pay to rebuild a 2 million

dollar house, a sports stadium or a floating casino.

Also, my tax money shouldn't go to rebuild a city that

is under sea level. You wouldn't build your house on

quicksand would you? You want to live below sea-level,

do your country some good and join the Navy.



#6. Regardless of what the Poverty Pimps Jessie

Jackson and Al Sharpton want you to believe, The US

Government didn't create the Hurricane as a way to

eradicate the black people of New Orleans; (Neither

did Russia as a way to destroy America). The US

Government didn't cause global warming that caused the

hurricane (We've been coming out of an ice age for

over a million years).



#7. The government isn't responsible for giving you

anything. This is the land of the free and the home

of the brave, but you gotta work for what you want.

McDonalds and Wal-Mart are always hiring, get a job and stop

spooning off the people who are actually working for a living.



President Kennedy said it best..."Ask not what your

country can do for you, ask what you can do for your

country."



Thank you for allowing me to rant.



LOL:lol:



Tight Lines,

Bill