Larry Anderson
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So I don
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William H. (Bill) Barham
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Gripa, I'm with Chris... To me anyway, family is very important. I'm not in Florida right now because my family is in this area. You have a tough decision to make and one that you have to do from your heart. Family or fishing opportunities? Good luck.
Bill
Bill
TrepMan
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Chris - This is a VERY personal and family decision, but i am proud you think enough of us to even ask our opinions.
As background I was born in No' Jey (Passiac County, Fairlawn and Pompton Lakes), and my folks were both from the city (Bronx and Brooklyn), but I grew up in Indianapolis (due a job transfer my dad took as a promotion). I now live in Atlanta (went from Indy, to Chicago, to Houston to here), and I only have my Mom left (Only brother passed awas 4 years ago, and dad 18 months ago).
My wife's Sister lives in MD (near Bill B) and we see them 2 times or more a year. I TOO wish (except for that husband of hers) that we lived MUCH closer so my boys and her boys could grow up together.
Money is NICE, but i've turned down jobs even here in Atlanta for more $$ to continue to work at home and see my family more. I've also turned down jobs in NY/NJ due to the cost of living/housing and the cold.
So, if I was in your shoes, I'd do a lot of thinking and talking to that wife and family of yours. Is the money SO much more (when you take the cost of living/housing into consideration) that you end up on the up side (including taxes)? Are you close with your family and would enjoy seeing them every day or much more often? Is the long hours at your current job taking time away from family and fishing? If this other job fall through or doesn't work out in 2-3 years, are their other jobs in the same area you see available (and companies you'd like to work for) as a backup??
Lots of questions and no easy answers.
We almost moved to AZ to be near my folks (who moved to AZ after I got married and moved to Houston), but my wife did NOT like the heat in Scottsdale, so that was not an option. Its worked out great for us, but on weeks like past week when my wife has Strep Throat, and i'm the ONLY family my kids have and I also have to work, it would have been NICE to have the grandparents and brother/sisters near by to help out.
Trep
As background I was born in No' Jey (Passiac County, Fairlawn and Pompton Lakes), and my folks were both from the city (Bronx and Brooklyn), but I grew up in Indianapolis (due a job transfer my dad took as a promotion). I now live in Atlanta (went from Indy, to Chicago, to Houston to here), and I only have my Mom left (Only brother passed awas 4 years ago, and dad 18 months ago).
My wife's Sister lives in MD (near Bill B) and we see them 2 times or more a year. I TOO wish (except for that husband of hers) that we lived MUCH closer so my boys and her boys could grow up together.
Money is NICE, but i've turned down jobs even here in Atlanta for more $$ to continue to work at home and see my family more. I've also turned down jobs in NY/NJ due to the cost of living/housing and the cold.
So, if I was in your shoes, I'd do a lot of thinking and talking to that wife and family of yours. Is the money SO much more (when you take the cost of living/housing into consideration) that you end up on the up side (including taxes)? Are you close with your family and would enjoy seeing them every day or much more often? Is the long hours at your current job taking time away from family and fishing? If this other job fall through or doesn't work out in 2-3 years, are their other jobs in the same area you see available (and companies you'd like to work for) as a backup??
Lots of questions and no easy answers.
We almost moved to AZ to be near my folks (who moved to AZ after I got married and moved to Houston), but my wife did NOT like the heat in Scottsdale, so that was not an option. Its worked out great for us, but on weeks like past week when my wife has Strep Throat, and i'm the ONLY family my kids have and I also have to work, it would have been NICE to have the grandparents and brother/sisters near by to help out.
Trep
Mike L.
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My sister moved away from Jersey 25 years ago. I sure do wish that I could have seen her family grow up here with mine. Lots of possibly good times together have been missed. We wish she would have stayed here.
On the other hand she and her family have had a different quality of life which you can't put a $$$ figure on. They are truely happy living away from Jersey living 'their own style of life' in Alaska.
Good luck with your tough decision but its up to you nad your family. I'm sure you'll make the right choice!
mike
On the other hand she and her family have had a different quality of life which you can't put a $$$ figure on. They are truely happy living away from Jersey living 'their own style of life' in Alaska.
Good luck with your tough decision but its up to you nad your family. I'm sure you'll make the right choice!
mike
Jim Carlson
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One thing to remember is that there is no perfect answer. Life is a long series of trade-offs. I left MN and most of my extended family behind when I moved to FL. My parents, who still live in MN, didn't get to see their granddaughter more than ~12-15 times from birth to present (now 18 years old). I wish that could have been different.
On the other hand, my wife and I were able to have better jobs, could put my daughter into very good schools (paid off as she is now a national merit scholar finalist), had a great place for all the relatives to come vacation in the winter, and a very comfortable life without fighting the tough winters.
Most of the end result comes down to what you decide to make of it, and I'm sure you'll make it good either way.
Best wishes in your decision.
On the other hand, my wife and I were able to have better jobs, could put my daughter into very good schools (paid off as she is now a national merit scholar finalist), had a great place for all the relatives to come vacation in the winter, and a very comfortable life without fighting the tough winters.
Most of the end result comes down to what you decide to make of it, and I'm sure you'll make it good either way.
Best wishes in your decision.
Like others have said there is no easy answer or decision, however, there is nothing like having family being near by and having that kind of support, memories that can never be replaced or made up for.
Good luck with your decision.
Cass
Good luck with your decision.
Cass
Texas Transplant
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Well, I've been both a 'near home body', and also someone away. We lived the first 10 years of our married life in and around family (close by). Last 4 of those years with a little one.
Then we moved to CA for 18 months, and didn't like it at all. Partly due to the space between us and family, but mostly because of the cost. We moved back to Texas, but in Dallas rather than Houston.
What we found was that to see the family, we still had to get in the car and drive 4+ hours. In short, it was a one way visit. In the 15 years we lived in the DFW area, members of our family only came up 2 or 3 times at best. That is one thing to consider in your decision. Not saying we had bad family members, but they seemed to think it was still up to us.
We now live in SC, not too far from Charlotte. Our son is in Houston, a few other family members there. Mother in law is in Ft. Worth; some of my family in Seattle and one part in Germany.
Our life here is good. Decent job for me, off and on for the wife. My income has been tremendous. However, we would still like to move back to Texas at some point. Some for the family, but mostly for the area, cost of living, lifestyle, etc.
One thing I read in your post was the 'new job lucrative in about two years'. I'd be very, very careful about what it 'will be in the future'. If you are not getting the money when you move, it will be difficult to get it after you move - within the same company.
You need to find out what your top 2 or 3 priorities are. They should be the drivers. Deal with the big ones first, worry about the smaller ones later.
Best of luck with your decision.
Tex
Then we moved to CA for 18 months, and didn't like it at all. Partly due to the space between us and family, but mostly because of the cost. We moved back to Texas, but in Dallas rather than Houston.
What we found was that to see the family, we still had to get in the car and drive 4+ hours. In short, it was a one way visit. In the 15 years we lived in the DFW area, members of our family only came up 2 or 3 times at best. That is one thing to consider in your decision. Not saying we had bad family members, but they seemed to think it was still up to us.
We now live in SC, not too far from Charlotte. Our son is in Houston, a few other family members there. Mother in law is in Ft. Worth; some of my family in Seattle and one part in Germany.
Our life here is good. Decent job for me, off and on for the wife. My income has been tremendous. However, we would still like to move back to Texas at some point. Some for the family, but mostly for the area, cost of living, lifestyle, etc.
One thing I read in your post was the 'new job lucrative in about two years'. I'd be very, very careful about what it 'will be in the future'. If you are not getting the money when you move, it will be difficult to get it after you move - within the same company.
You need to find out what your top 2 or 3 priorities are. They should be the drivers. Deal with the big ones first, worry about the smaller ones later.
Best of luck with your decision.
Tex
Scott Powell
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I also don
Scott Powell
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Texas Transplant,
Interesting what said about the one-way visits.. My experiences have been the same! It seems that those of us who have moved away from the "hometown" seem to be the ones expected to do the traveling.. Didn't bother me much when I was younger, but I must admit I find it frustrating as I get older....
Interesting what said about the one-way visits.. My experiences have been the same! It seems that those of us who have moved away from the "hometown" seem to be the ones expected to do the traveling.. Didn't bother me much when I was younger, but I must admit I find it frustrating as I get older....
Texas Transplant
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Scott,
I've somewhat taken the attitude now, that the road runs in both directions. I still have the desire to see some of my 'kinfolk', but not as much.
When we moved back to the Dallas area from CA, I thought that we might get some regular visits from friends/family in Houston. Just didn't happen.
It was always - 'when are you coming back into town???'.
Tex
I've somewhat taken the attitude now, that the road runs in both directions. I still have the desire to see some of my 'kinfolk', but not as much.
When we moved back to the Dallas area from CA, I thought that we might get some regular visits from friends/family in Houston. Just didn't happen.
It was always - 'when are you coming back into town???'.
Tex
Scott Powell
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Tex,
Did you ever notice we are expected to " come back into town" on all the 3 day weekends.. I also push back somewhat now - reminding the parents (read: RETIRED)that not only do I have the house with the guest bedroom, but they don't have to race home on Sunday nite in order to be at work on monday... Besides - I like to go fishing for at least part of a day on the weekends!!!!
Did you ever notice we are expected to " come back into town" on all the 3 day weekends.. I also push back somewhat now - reminding the parents (read: RETIRED)that not only do I have the house with the guest bedroom, but they don't have to race home on Sunday nite in order to be at work on monday... Besides - I like to go fishing for at least part of a day on the weekends!!!!
cq
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"Just be Happy".
Brian Ingersoll
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First off, I have heard nothing but good things about Chimneyrock elementary.
There are plenty of better areas being built around Cordova, something to look at as far as moving to a better neighborhood.
You know what you have here, and don't know what it will be like in Jersey.
Plane tickets are cheap - fly out of Nashville on Southwest
You're last point "-(Con Memphis) This area is getting a little rough, crime is increasing and school
There are plenty of better areas being built around Cordova, something to look at as far as moving to a better neighborhood.
You know what you have here, and don't know what it will be like in Jersey.
Plane tickets are cheap - fly out of Nashville on Southwest
You're last point "-(Con Memphis) This area is getting a little rough, crime is increasing and school
Grip,
I went thru the whole move decision making process last fall. Although I didn't have to factor in moving a family, I had alot of pros and cons about moving from Indianapolis to Nashville. A new job and more money was the motivation for the move but I had to put that aside and think about what it meant for me and was it worth it.
I've been here 3 months now and I don't regret it yet. I struggle a bit with all the friends I left behind but I am starting to make new friends here. The extra money is certainly nice but not the reason I am staying. I could make less money and still get by. I am just socking away the extra that I am making in case I decide not to stay here and have to take a lesser paying job.
I guess what I am trying to say is really think about your family and friends and whats best for you in that regard. Money isn't everything for sure. Also, really explore what the new job will be and fully understand expectations and assignments that you will be doing. I asked a million questions about the job I have now to ensure I knew what I was getting into and so far it's exactly how I understood it. No surprises which makes me very happy. To me, job satisfaction is more important than money.
I went thru the whole move decision making process last fall. Although I didn't have to factor in moving a family, I had alot of pros and cons about moving from Indianapolis to Nashville. A new job and more money was the motivation for the move but I had to put that aside and think about what it meant for me and was it worth it.
I've been here 3 months now and I don't regret it yet. I struggle a bit with all the friends I left behind but I am starting to make new friends here. The extra money is certainly nice but not the reason I am staying. I could make less money and still get by. I am just socking away the extra that I am making in case I decide not to stay here and have to take a lesser paying job.
I guess what I am trying to say is really think about your family and friends and whats best for you in that regard. Money isn't everything for sure. Also, really explore what the new job will be and fully understand expectations and assignments that you will be doing. I asked a million questions about the job I have now to ensure I knew what I was getting into and so far it's exactly how I understood it. No surprises which makes me very happy. To me, job satisfaction is more important than money.
Christopher Laurencio
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Grip,
Does it have to be South Jersey? or anywhere in NJ, that's a tough decision as I wrestle with staying in NJ and I don't have someone offering me a job elsewhere, as with everyone else, if it were me I would do what's best for my family, are your children older and not wanting to move.
The good news is if you do move to NJ, you could join my Bass Club out of SE PA!
You also have Manasquan to fish and the Assunpink chain of lakes in south Jersey.
Does it have to be South Jersey? or anywhere in NJ, that's a tough decision as I wrestle with staying in NJ and I don't have someone offering me a job elsewhere, as with everyone else, if it were me I would do what's best for my family, are your children older and not wanting to move.
The good news is if you do move to NJ, you could join my Bass Club out of SE PA!
You also have Manasquan to fish and the Assunpink chain of lakes in south Jersey.
