Wife's Email to Microsoft

[Tom Jones]

Dear Tech Support,







Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and



noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance -



particularly in the flower and jewelry applications,



which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.







In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable



programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5,



and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0,



NBA 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs,



and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system I've tried



running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.



What can I do?







Signed,



Desperate







Dear Desperate:







First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package,



while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the



command: "http: I Thought You Loved Me.html" and try to download



Tears 6.2 and don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that



application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then



automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.







But remember, overuse of the above application can cause



Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0,



or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download



the Snoring Loudly Beta.







Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs



a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of



all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the



Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications



and will crash Husband 1.0.







In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does



have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.



You might consider buying additional software to improve memory



and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.







Good Luck,



Tech Support

 

[C C]

Ben, there could be a major side effect from installing Nitro 929. Caution, once this application has been installed you will notice jewlery 2.0 and Nagging 2.3 auto launchs as well as a html multi pop up called, "you never take me anywhere anymore".



Be carefull when installing Nitro 929 or any entertainment applications that occupy your systems resources, you may find your system plagued to the point of the dreded "Kiss of death" blue screen. If this happens you can go to Dr. Watson for assistance, he offers lots of cures but things will never be the same.



Cass

 

[Travis Smith]

Once again.....remind me to never get married.





T.S.

 

[Marke Cicero]

Travis,



Your 15 now, right? Here's what you do. Print this thread and save it. That way in about 10 years we can all have a good laugh your wedding reception...LOL



Marke

 

[Bob G.]

Travis,



When you do get married, and you probably will regardless of what you think now, make sure she's a keeper!



Bob G.