TWENTY SPECIAL 'SOUTHERNISMS'

[Sue DeLelys]

1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between

a hissie fit and a conniption and that you don't

"HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" them.



2. Only a true Southerner knows how much any fish,

collard greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make

up "a mess" (as in "a mess" of greens).



3. Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you

the general direction of "yonder."



4. Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long

"directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back

directly. (generally pronounced dreckly)



5. All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme

some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular

sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on

the middle of the table.



6. All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by"

is. They might not use the term, but they know the

concept well.



7. Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the

best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got

trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl

of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a

real crisis, they also know to add a large banana

puddin')



8. Only true Southerners grow up knowing the

difference between "right near" and "a right far

(pronounced "fur")piece." They also know that "just

down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.



9. Only a true Southerner both knows and understands

the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and

po' white trash.



10. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car

with the flashing turn signal is actually going to

make a turn.



11. A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used

as a noun, a verb, or an adverb. (As in, I was fixin

to go over to BettyLou's. Or, we had a huge Christmas

dinner with all the fixins. Or Are you fixin my car

next?)



12. Only a true Southerner knows that the term

"booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive,

as in "that ol' booger," a first name, or something

that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you

senseless.



13. Only true Southerners make friends while standing

in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and

when we're IN, not ON, line we talk to everybody!



14. Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of

them will discover they're related, even if only by

marriage.



15. True Southerners never refer to only one person as

"y'all"... more than three is way more than one, it's

"all y'all".



16. True Southerners know grits come from corn and how

to eat them.



17. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs,

bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful;

that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that

fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food We

recognize milk gravy when we see it, know what to do

with it and wonder what the heck you other people eat

on your biscuits.



18. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself

lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a

genuine Southerner!



19. Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet

milk." Sweet tea indicates it contains sugar and lots

of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened "Sweet

milk" means you don't want buttermilk.



20. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream

obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on

the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go

your own way.

 

[Edward Lea.]

"Well, I caught myself lookin',"

The last time that happened my wife caught me, and I learned what mirrored sunglasses were for. :lol::lol::lol:

 

[William H. (Bill) Barham]

Sue said she heard Scott was a good kisser Bless her heart:wub:

 

[JD Johnson]

Hey Sue,

I'll have you know I represent those remarks!! :lol:

 

[Steve Hutson]

HEE HEE, me too JDJ, me too. Man, I'd love to have a plate of fried green 'maters, some turnip greens and pinto beans with onions, hot chow-chow and some corn bread! Thanks Sue.



This is my grits funny. When my ex-wife (now best friend) first moved down here from Wheaton IL, we went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast one morning. She ordered first. I don't remember which breakfast meal she ordered, but when the waitress asked her if she wanted grits? She replied "I'll have one grit". The waitress looked at her, them me. I asked her what she thought grits were? She said, bread, like biscuits. Imagine her surprise when she got a bowl of grits. After some butter and sugar, she loved them and still does. We all laugh about that to this day.

 

[Mark Gross]

After spending 6 yrs in Fl. I moved to Valdosta Ga. I was sittin in a Waffle House one mornin with a bar full of good ol' boys sickin up some conversation as normel when I got my grits. Well I grabbed the maple syrup and put some on my grits, all at once the intire place got dead silent. On of the good ol' boys sittin next to me spoke up and said "Boy, WHAT ARE U PUTTIN ON YOUR GRITS!!" I took a spoon full then looked at him in straight in his good eye and said maple syrup sir. He said were are you from? I look at him and said ; I'm from the good ol' south sir. He said THE SOUTH?? (the place is still dead quit) I said yes sir the south ,south Florida we all eat are grits with maple syrup. Well I kept on eatin while they stared a couple more seconds then everybody went back to what they were doin before. I cotinued my conversation with the gentleman and ended up be in a regular every morn'in before work. The really funny part was nobody could argue the point that Florida WAS south of Georgia . 20 yrs ago Valdosta Ga. was pretty much the deep south.



Mark

 

[C C]

I love the whole thing, I still use many of the terms/words.



Cass

 

[Aaron Scott2]

Don't forget the "boiled (pronounced bald) peanuts".

 

[JD Johnson]

Grits + Butter + Sugar = Good ol Georgia Ice Cream