Only in America

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Ken Sabin

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I know some of these are repeats but, they still crack me up: Only in America ???





Only in America .......do drugstores make the sick

walk all the way to the back of the store to get

their prescriptions while healthy people can buy

cigarettes at the front.



Only in America........do people order double

cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.



Only in America.......do banks leave both doors open

and then chain the pens to the counters.



Only in America........do we leave cars worth

thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our

useless junk in the garage.



Only in America........do we buy hot dogs in

packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.



Only in America........do we use the word 'politics'

to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin

meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking

creatures'



Only in America.. .....do they have drive-up ATM

machines with Braille lettering.



EVER WONDER ....



Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?



Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth

closed?



Why don't you ever see the headline? 'Psychic Wins

Lottery'?



Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?



Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?



Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and

dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?



Why is the man who invests all your money called a

'broker'?



Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic

called rush hour?



Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?



Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?



Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal

injections?



You know that indestructible black box that is used

on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane

out of that stuff?



Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?



Why are they called apartments when they are all

stuck together?



If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the

opposite of progress?



If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport

the terminal?
 
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