Mad Kayaker
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- Joined
- Nov 30, 2003
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A married fellow gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife, Karen, naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he asks.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom,past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
"You bastard!!!" says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?"
---
Upon seeing this, Karen actually starts to have chest pains and her husband, forgetting about Ted, takes her to the hospital. It turned out that she really was having a heart attack and the doctors decided on emergency surgery. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it, God? Is it my time?" God said, "No Karen, you have another 30 to 40 years to live."
Upon her recovery from surgery and reflecting on what God had told her, she decided to stay in the hospital to have cosmetic surgery. Karen figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She had collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction, and breast enhancement. She even decided to get a new hair style to complete the look on her last day in the hospital.
With the completion of the hair styling, she was ready to go home. Walking out of the main entrance, she was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and in tears said, "God, I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?"
God replied, "Karen Jones! I didn't recognize you!" :lol:
Bill, The Mad kayaker
"What's up?" he asks.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom,past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
"You bastard!!!" says the husband. "My wife's having a heart attack, and all you can do is run around the house naked scaring the kids?"
---
Upon seeing this, Karen actually starts to have chest pains and her husband, forgetting about Ted, takes her to the hospital. It turned out that she really was having a heart attack and the doctors decided on emergency surgery. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience. She saw God and asked, "Is this it, God? Is it my time?" God said, "No Karen, you have another 30 to 40 years to live."
Upon her recovery from surgery and reflecting on what God had told her, she decided to stay in the hospital to have cosmetic surgery. Karen figured since she had another 30 to 40 years, she might as well make the most of it. She had collagen shots, cheek implants, a face lift, liposuction, and breast enhancement. She even decided to get a new hair style to complete the look on her last day in the hospital.
With the completion of the hair styling, she was ready to go home. Walking out of the main entrance, she was killed by an ambulance speeding up to the hospital. She arrived in front of God and in tears said, "God, I thought you said I had another 30 to 40 years?"
God replied, "Karen Jones! I didn't recognize you!" :lol:
Bill, The Mad kayaker
