"Northern Jokes."

[JEFF WHITE]

> An Arkansas State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40 and says to

> the

> driver, "Got any ID?"

>

> The driver says, "'Bout what?"

> ***************************************

> Two Mississippians are walking toward each other, and one is carrying a

> sack. When they meet, one says, "Hey Tommy Ray, whatcha got in th' bag?"

>

> "Jes' some chickens."

>

> "If I guesses how many they is, kin I have one?"

>

> "Shoot, if ya guesses right, I'll give you both of 'em!" "OK.

>

> Ummmmm...five?"

> **************************************************

> An Alabamian came home and found his house on fire. He rushed next door,

> telephoned the fire department and shouted, "Hurry over here muh house

> is on

> fahr!"

>

> "OK," replied the fireman, "how do we get there?"

>

> "Shucks, don't you fellers still have those big red trucks?"

> **************************************************

> Why do folks in Kentucky go to R-rated movies in groups of 18 or more?

>

> Because they heard 17 and under aren't admitted.

> **************************************************

> Ida Mae passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911-operator told Bubba

> that

> she would send someone out right away.

>

> "Where do you live?" asked the operator

>

> Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive.

>

> " The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"

>

> After a long pause, Bubba said, "How 'bout I drag her over to Oak Street

> and

> you pick her up there?"

> *************************************************

> Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?

>

> They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools.

> *************************************************

> What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?

>

> Documentaries

> *************************************************

> Where was the toothbrush invented?

>

> Arkansas.

>

> If it were invented anywhere else, it would have been called a

> teethbrush.

> *************************************************

> A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple

> gets

> divorced, they're still brother and sister.

> **********************************************

> What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in

> Florida

> have in common?

>

> No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer

> **********************************************

> How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel?

>

> When you call the front desk and say "I've got a leak in my sink," and

> the

> person at the front desk says, "Go ahead.

 

[Staci Matheis]

Careful there, Jeff.....

You're talkin' 'bout my buddies Rich and Trep!

 

[TrepMan]

One day Bob G. and Magna went fishing. They were catching a lot of fish so they wanted to figure out how to remember this part if the lake.

Bob said, ''I know. I can spit in the water!''



But Magna said, '' No! How will we know it's your spit?''



They thought and thought and finally Bob G. said, '' I know. We can draw an 'X' right here on the side of the boat!''



But Magna said ''No, no, Bob. That won't work! How will we know that we get the same boat next time?''

 

[Bob G.]

Trep,



That's a good one. Hope to see ya at the rally!! I'm thinking of fishing with live bait.



Bob G.

 

[TrepMan]

Bob - If you're fishing with live bait you'll WANT to be in my TIN boat with COUNT THEM 2 areated baitwells!!!! PLUS 2 livewells!!



Still don't know about the Rally, it's a tough week. We'll be at my inlaws the that week for spring break. I'm taking Beka to Branson mid-week and then back to the in-laws north of Tulsa. I've got to convince her to let me drop her back in OK on Thursday, leave on Friday for the Rally and then have her and her folks pack the wagon up on Sunday and come get me a the Rally. We'll see!

 

[Barb Baggott]

Does this mean Bob is going to use Scott in his perch color vest for trolling?



Barb

 

[Bob G.]

I usually only fish with artificial lures, but I was going to make an exception and use Trep as live bait!!



Bob G.

 

[Bill McElroy]

Treps too much like a Yamamoto bait,.....1-2 fish and he'd be all torn up.....use XPS stuff!! LOL

 

[TrepMan]

Bob loved fishing, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't see where his lure landed once he'd cast it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Bob bring along his freind Mac.



Bob said, "But Mac is 40 years old and half senile!"



His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible."



Bob finally agreed and took Mac along. They launched the boat and headed to Bob's first honey hole, the tires! He cast his jig-n-pig and could feel that it had hit sunk to the bottom. He asked Mac, "Did you see where I cast?"



Mac nodded his head and said, "Boy Bob, that was a beautiful cast!"



Bob excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!"



Mac said, "Hmmm. I forget."

 

[Staci Matheis]

Come on guys..... The market is tough enough out there as it is..... Don't go giving Trepper the one job I've got going for me that I can put on my resume as being in the fishing industry!

 

[Staci Matheis]

GREAT ONE, TREP!!!!!!!!!

 

[Staci Matheis]

And this is how we get paid back for rescuing you from Santa Anna?

 

[Mark Hofman]

Q: What's the difference between a Northern zoo and a Southern zoo?



A. The Southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.



*****

Q. Why do southern brides wear white?



A. So that the dishwasher matches the refridgerator and the stove.

 

[Bill McElroy]

Mac is 40??!!.....Oh to be YOUNG again Trep!!! LOL

 

[TrepMan]

So Mac you're OLD and SENILE??? HAAAA

 

[Bill McElroy]

hhhhmmmmm...i forget

 

[Jim Brone]

What's the difference between a cheesehead and a dickhead?

The stateline.

 

[anthony rook]

the difference between a northern fairy tale and a southern fairy tale--- a northern fairy tale begins with "once upon a time " and a southern fairy tale begins with " ya'll ain't gonna believe this s#@t.