New Fad Diet...!! Lose 14 Pounds in 20 Hours..!!

[Scott Smith]

Yes it's true..!! You too can join this brand new diet craze.. All you need to do is put on a police uniform and dine in one of the local establishments in the city you work for. And just a few hours after eating, you'll be doubled over by excruciating abdominal cramps, a belly which doubles to twice it's normal size right before your eyes, cold unstoppable sweats, hallucinations, temperature fluctuations from 96 to 104 and my personal favorite...a spigot up your spincter which is stuck in the on position...!! Not counting my 14 hour stay in the hospital, the numerous needle holes in my body and the red A$$ only a baboon could be proud of I feel great...!! And the best part of all....it did'nt cost me a dime...!!



Actually...I'm feeling much better now..still a little shakey...I would'nt wish this hell on anyone....except maybe the dude that prepared my meal...but I got somethin up my sleeve for him....!!!

 

[Bill McElroy]

Yeooowwwza!!! that sounds like "aggravated assault" let alone food poisoning!!! Glad you're feeling better...

(that visual was funny though!!! LOL)

 

[Scott Smith]

Yeah, now that the worst is over, I can look back on it and laugh..can't wait to get back into work and see all the interesting goodies my fellow brothers in arms have stuffed into my mailbox and attached to my locker...I've already talked to a few of the boys...a group effort payback is in the works..

 

[fatrap]

Smitty

What's your guess Samonella? I got that from a tuna dish years ago on a ship bound for the Med. Half the crew got sick with exactly what your describinng. We jokenly threatened to hang the cook. He was a Phillapino who took us for our word and locked himself in the meat locker for half a day. He about froze to death until he was talked out of the place.

Was it a freeby meal or did you get to pay for all that entertainment?

Glad your better just keep your @$$ away from any flammables for a while.

fatrap

 

[Scott Hammer TOXIC]

Welcome to my world!!LOL!! Was it E-Coli? That'll teach ya to eat those 7-11 hotdogs even if they are free!!



TOXIC

 

[Sue DeLelys]

Smitty,



Sounds like you had a tough time. Sure glad you're feeling better.



Sue



Not a diet I'm willing to try!

 

[William H. (Bill) Barham]

Boy, I was getting ready to stuff a piece of day old pizza in my mouth that had sat out all night. Well, it went into the trash!



Glad you're feeling better Smitty



Bill

 

[Craig Roberts]

Ouch!!! Sorry to hear that. But at least now you have cookies to eat (or are they all gone)? If you're feeling up to it, Kathy would like you to call her.



Craig

 

[Scott Smith]

Thanks for all the well wishes...I'm nearly feeling like my old self again...I even managed to get out of the house and pick up my wifes Christmas present.



Yes it was a free meal of chicken stir fry...I'm thinkin that the chicken may have been bad...had a bunch of drug screens performed to make sure nothin was "slipped in" the food, those all came up clear for all the major substances. They're calling it food poisoning, nothing more specific than that.

 

[Larry Harp]

Yes, I'll always remember the day after my brother's funeral, sitting on the toilet and reeching into a bucket. Bad macaroni salad at the after party I think. I did miss the bloated belly and hallucinations though. Actually hallucinations would have been a welcome diversion. I remember that 7-Up never tasted sooooo good.



Harpo

 

[Marke Cicero]

Smitty,



Please tell me where it was and what you had. I'll make sure NEVER to go there at lunch. I hope it wasn't Shilla on West Maple. I had sushi there last week and it was really good.



I'm glad your feeling better,



Marke

 

[Rick Hale]

That is easy for a day or three Smitty--

everyone in the family here has the flu / cold --

Take care -- HaleDamage