JOKES

[cq]

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal



"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual



"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - General MacArthur



"You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.



"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance



"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal



"Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once."



"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit



"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - USAF Ammo Troop



"Though I Fly Through the Valley of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil. For I am at 80,000 Feet and Climbing."



"You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3." - Paul F. Crickmore (test pilot)



"The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire."



"If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage, it's probably a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe."



"When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash."





cq

 

[fatrap]

heard most of them but always funny thanks

fatrap

 

[Warren David]

There is no such thing as friendly fire



If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush



Napalm is an area weapon

 

[Greg Meyer]

Shut-up... We are not being overrun... We are being given a multitude of target opportunities...

 

[joseph currier]

this is not a joke but i still thought it has hillarious while serving aboard the uss carl vinson cvn 70 during pre deployment work up drills we were called to battle stations inocent enough right?

at some point during the the next 4 hours of drilling with setting of differnt material conditions, firefighting, and damage control drills it came across the 1 mc(ships comunication) to prepare for eminate nuclear attack.

i couldn't help but think what do they want us to do? pray,cry,through rocks at the bad guys, or bend over and kiss our colective asses goodbye.

at witch time my seinor cheif told me we are supposed to pull our hats over our eyes our collors up and huddle agianst a bulkhead.

i said to him that if a nuc was realy going to hit us i'd be living my final seconds on this earth and covering my eyes would bee the last thought runnin through my mind.

he then replied yea i'd probly run to my compartment to get a last swig of that scotch in my locker. i'm with you was my reply.

two day later the cheif approched me to make sure i wasn't going to spill the beans about him having scotch onboard.( funny thing i never stood a single watch on that cruise) go figure.

 

[Marty Klein]

:lol::lol: You know, while some of these are jokes, one must remember that there are many folks who never stop to think about implications and consequences. There are folks smart enough to remember that tracers are good for following shot accuracy and aiming, but not smart enough to think about the reverse tracking; they need to be reminded. Reminds me of a similarly dumb Somalian who fired a long gun at a Marine Cobra. The tracer round fell woefully short; the Marine's return missile did not.

 

[Max Neathamer2]

Hey Joe,



When were on the Chuckie "V"? I was there from 87-92



Max