I want to teach y'all a good joke (with hand actions!)

[Mark Hofman]

Cabin fever is definitely affecting almost all of us, and with the plethora of jokes floating around, here's one that requires some hand actions. You have to practice this a few times before you go tell it to someone, and it won't be as funny here as if you were to see it for the first time, but here goes...



First, let's start with the actions you need to use. When the joke calls for a specific action, it will be marked in parenthesis. Practice each action with its name so that when the joke calls for it, you'll be ready.



(The "X") - Take your forearms and cross them in front of you vertically to make the "X". Now hinge them back and forth like a pair of scissors.



(The "Genie") - Take your arms and cross the forearms out in front of you, laying one arm flat on top of another with your biceps perpendicular out from your body. This looks like Genie, as in "I Dream of Genie", just before she bobs her head and blinks.



(The "Pyramid") - Take your forearms and touch the tips of your fingers together, with your elbows lower than your hands. Make your arms look like the roof of a house or a pyramid, hands flattened but at a 90-degree angle to each other. Hold this position a out bit higher than your head.



(The "Jiggle") - Take the palms of your hands and place them just under your chest muscles, fingers wide. Yeah, it looks like you're grabbing something. Now slightly bounce your hands up and down.



*** Remember, I'm TEACHING you a joke, not telling one! ****



(The "Lower Unit") Take your two hands and pretend like you're gonna protect, uhmmm, your "lower unit". Picture the guys lined up in front of the soccer goal, just before an opponent kicks a penalty shot.



(The "Mule Kick") Take both your hands and grab your behind, as if somone had just kicked it.



Okay.... ready for the joke?

 

[Mark Hofman]

A rancher is driving along his fence row and sees a section of barbed wire fence that's been knocked down. He gets out of the truck and goes to fix it, but finds his pliers are missing from his tool belt. He walks back to the truck and prepares to drive up the hill to his shed when he sees his absolutely stunning wife walk out on the front porch. He beeps the trucks horn to get her attention, but she's too far away to hear him yell. So he uses hand-signals.



(The "X")

(The "Genie")

(The "Pyramid")



His wife cocks her head a bit and responds...



(The "Jiggle")

(The "Lower Unit")

(The "Mule Kick")



The rancher shakes his head back and forth and again signals...



(The "X")

(The "Genie")

(The "Pyramid")



His wife responds....



(The "Jiggle")

(The "Lower Unit")

(The "Mule Kick")



Frustrated that she doesn't understand, he gets in the truck and wrecklessly drives up to the house. He jumps out of the truck and says,



"Didn't you understand me? I was trying to tell you that I need the big pliers (The "X") that are on the workbench (The "Genie") in the tool shed (The "Pyramid")!!!!



She looks at him dumbfounded and says,



"What do you think I'm stupid? I knew what you meant. I was trying to tell you that (The "Jiggle") there is a pair, (The "Lower Unit") in the box, (The "Mule Kick") under the seat!

 

[Mark Hofman]

Now, practice it until you can do it smoothly. Go tell your best (male) buddies.