Dennis Hamer
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- Joined
- Apr 2, 2002
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MARRIAGE (PART I)
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after
the wedding, laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I
want,if I want, and at what time I want - and I don't expect any
hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time
about it. Those are my rules.
Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand
that there'll be sex here at ten o'clock every night - whether
you're here or not."
MARRIAGE (PART II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As
Ever.' ""Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
MARRIAGE (PART III)
A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are
no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After
sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the
irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this late - doing what?" he said.
"Getting a second opinion!"
MARRIAGE (PART IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a
party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to
find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts
right back, Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!'"
MARRIAGE (PART V)
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man
realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for a
flight to Europe. Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me
tomorrow morning at 5:00 am".
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am,
and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed - it said: "It's 5:00am, wake up."
Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after
the wedding, laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I
want,if I want, and at what time I want - and I don't expect any
hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on the table unless
I tell you. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing
when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time
about it. Those are my rules.
Any comments?"
His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand
that there'll be sex here at ten o'clock every night - whether
you're here or not."
MARRIAGE (PART II)
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th
wedding anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm
getting you a headstone that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As
Ever.' ""Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a
headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"
MARRIAGE (PART III)
A husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the
breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are
no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After
sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and
rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings and the
irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this late - doing what?" he said.
"Getting a second opinion!"
MARRIAGE (PART IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,
"Mother of Six" in spite of her objections. One night, they go to a
party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to
find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of six?"
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts
right back, Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!'"
MARRIAGE (PART V)
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were
giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man
realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 am for a
flight to Europe. Not wanting to be the first to break the
silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me
tomorrow morning at 5:00 am".
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00am,
and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and
see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of
paper by the bed - it said: "It's 5:00am, wake up."
