For those who teach (humor)

[Greg J.]

here's something for those in the teaching profession:



YOU MIGHT BE EMPLOYED BY A SCHOOL IF.....



1. You believe the playground should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.

2. You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."

3. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

4. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.

5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know and correct their behavior.

7. You have no social life between August and June.

8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much easier.

9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.

11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the staff room as the "lounge".

12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.

13. You can't have children because there's no name you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood pressure the moment you heard it uttered.



14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says,"I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."



16. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?"

 

[fatrap]

AMEN especially 2-6-9-16. I have a couple of dandys

fatrap

 

[Greg J.]

and #3 this time of year, with the end of the school year nearing. Only 15 days left for our students.

 

[fatrap]

You don't have the spring mating ritual listed. Hallway locker sex, check under the bushes, Definitely spring here.

fatrap

 

[TrepMan]

I tell ya, I can't cover all of those, but just teaching Sunday School (one year for 14-16 yearolds and now for 3rd graders) I can agree with 95% of those!!!



Especialy 1, 4 and 9!!

 

[fatrap]

Trep

At least they're in Sunday School. I have had a couple you could throw holy water on and they'd melt.

fatrap

 

[Greg J.]

fatrap,

I've had some of those :blink: . That's when you refer to #16.

 

[Travis Smith]

So where do I fit in.....evil grin....:blink:

 

[TrepMan]

Hey Fatrap - The Highschool kids were on a Wed night (confirmation class) one girl one day wore white stretch pants with not underwear (confirmed by the School Director a lady), a black short T-shirt w/no bra (again confirmed by a lady director), and during class played "dancer" on a table leg (tables were on top of each other upside down, in the class room) for a few male students. I had to get the Director so as a Male I didn't get introuble for telling this young lady (used VERY loosely) that it was inappropriate behavior!!!

 

[Greg J.]

You made the correct move Trep. I never, ever, ever, have a one-on-one discussion with the female students. If it's not possible to have another female [adult] there, I will move the discussion to the hallway out in plain view, plus there are cameras in our halls recording everything. If we have girls wearing inappropriate clothing I always call one of our two female asst principals to handle it.

 

[Larry Harp]

I just opened one of those TO THE PARENTS OF: letters. Seems my boy is getting detention for leaving study hall with a false hall pass. I asked him why and he said it was so he could go walking around from class to class selling cookies with some D.E.C.C.A. students. That boy is heading for a life of crime.



Harpo