BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THE FOLLOWING VIRUSES

[JEFF WHITE]

CLINTON VIRUS

Gives you a 7 inch Hard Drive with NO memory



VIAGRA VIRUS

Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy



LEWINSKY VIRUS

Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone

about what it did



RONALD REAGAN VIRUS

Saves your data but forgets where it is stored



MIKE TYSON VIRUS

Quits after two bytes



OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS

Your 300MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100MB, then slowly

expands to 200 MB



DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS

Deletes all old files.



ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS

Disks can no longer be inserted



TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of Lewinsky virus)

Your whole computer goes down



DISNEY VIRUS

Everything in your computer goes Goofy



PROZAC VIRUS

Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care



JOEY BUTTAFUOCO VIRUS

Only attacks minor files



ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS

Terminates some files, leaves, but it will BE BAAAACK



LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS

Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards

--through Windows