Redneck Valentines

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Steven Parker

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Joined
Mar 7, 2005
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RED-NECK VALENTINE'S LOVE POEM

>

> Collards is green

> my dog's name is Blue

> I'm so lucky to have

> a sweet thang like you.

>

> Yore hair is like cornsilk

> a-flapping in the breeze

> Softer than Blue's

> and without all dem fleas.

>

> You move like the bass,

> which excite me in May.

> You ain't got no scales

> but I luv you anyway.

>

> Yo're as satisfy'n as okry

> jist a-fry'n in the pan.

> Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"

> right out of the can.

>

> You have som'a yore teeth,

> for which I am proud;

> I hold my head high

> when we're in a crowd.

>

> On special occasions,

> when you shave under yore arms,

> well, I'm in hawg heaven,

> and awed by yore charms.

>

> Still them fellers at work,

> they all want to know,

> what I did to deserve

> such a purdy, young doe.

>

> Like a good roll of duct tape

> yo're there fer yore man,

> to patch up life's troubles

> and fix what you can.

>

> Yo're as cute as a junebug

> a-buzzin' o'erhead.

> You ain't mean like dem far ants

> I found in my bed.

>

> Cut from the best cloth

> like a plaid flannel shirt,

> you spark up my life

> more than a fresh load of dirt.

>

> When you hold me real tight

> like a padded gunrack,

> my life is complete;

> Ain't nuttin' I lack.

>

> Yore complexion, it's perfect,

> like the best vinyl sidin'.

> despite all the years,

> yore age, it keeps hidin'.

>

> Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie

> with a RC cold drank,

> we go together

> like a skunk goes with stank.

>

> Some men, they buy chocolate

> for Valentine's Day;

> They git it at Wal-Mart,

> it's romantic that way.

>

> Some men git roses

> on that special day

> from the cooler at Kroger.

> "That's impressive," I say.

>

> Some men buy fine diamonds

> from a flea market booth.

> "Diamonds are forever,"

> they explain, suave and couth.

>

> I didn't git you chocolates,

> Nuttin' with taste nor odor,

> It's more useful than diamonds...

> I gotcha A NEW TROLLIN' MOTOR!!

>

>
 

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